JCP's Hypnotist fools Investors

Hypnotist Classic Wheel

Stare into the wheel then buy our shares despite losing $147 million last quarter.

J.C. Penney's (JCP) CEO Ron Johnson swayed traders into sending his company's share price higher on Friday despite a horrific earnings report.  Prompting the Masters to question: could Ron be the greatest hypnotist that ever lived?


Ron the Hypnotist once worked at Apple Inc (AAPL), now he is running JCP.  Unlike Apple Inc., J.C. Penny's does not sell or produce any magical iPads, iPhones, or iPods.  Don't confuse the fact that Apple creates the most desirable electronics on the planet, JCP just sells the same shit you can buy at Wal-Mart and Macy's. 

Look into the wheel and believe that J.C. Penny's will become the greatest retailer on the planet.  They changed the company to just 'JCP' and added new colors with boxes to "help" shoppers.  You are becoming very sleepy.  Do not pay attention to the 23% drop in sales and 33% fall in internet sales last quarter.  That's not important, just stare into the wheel below and enter the Twilight Zone with Ron Johnson.

So how did the Hypnotist make his stock finish up 5.8% Friday despite tanking 12% earlier in the day?
Chief Executive Ron Johnson said the new stores-within-stores strategy is already seeing success. "We're thrilled with their performance," he said, singling out Levi's sales, which are up 25% at the new shops compared with its prior format.
Amazing, JCP sells Levi's and better than anyone else.  Hurry and buy JCP shares before they run out of Levi's.  It could make you a millionaire, no a zillionaire if you buy today.